I received a Facebook invite from a coworker…to his wedding only two weeks prior to the event! (So, PSA: We didn’t actually crash this wedding, but we were the only foreigners there so it almost felt like we did!) This was the second wedding invitation I had received via Facebook in Egypt, so this must be common practice. And if you think about it, it really saves time and money considering how much effort we put into save the dates and wedding invitations and pre-stamped RSVP cards!
Either way, I checked the “going” box to confirm my attendance. I asked Mohi, my coworker, if I could bring Peter as my plus one, a question to which he couldn’t stop laughing. I saw no humor in the situation, but he kept telling everybody after that that I had asked if I could bring my boyfriend, and they also started laughing! Still seeing no humor in the situation, I asked for an explanation, and he told me that it’s implied with the invitation that I could bring him. Apparently for Egyptian weddings, knowing the exact amount of guests for seating charts and food plans is not necessary. The invitation was open. When I told Peter about the wedding, he was thrilled. On his Egypt “bucket list”, going to a wedding was towards the top.
Mohi warned us that his wedding was a-typical compared to other Egyptian weddings since his was in the “morning”. The Facebook invite said the event would last from 1-7 PM, but he said that was just the Egyptian time. He told me that since I’m American he’d give me the “real start time”, he knew I’d be there at the time he indicated.
We ended up getting there around 2:20, and in the car, Peter and I kept checking our phones nervous that we wouldn’t be there on time, and we’d miss the beginning! When we arrived to a beautiful, new in a clubhouse (in the middle of the desert), there was barely anybody there. Phew! The wedding didn’t actually start until
The wedding opened with a “zarfa”, which is where the bride arrives in her car, where the groom greets her and then they are surrounded by family and friends and a traditional band playing the drums, trumpets, and other instruments. They stood in the middle dancing with family members in a circle until the migrated towards a table and chairs. The bride and groom, Maisa and Mohi, sat at the table as we gathered around the chairs. Then began the signing of the contracts.
In a Muslim wedding, the contract is the symbol of marriage that is binding. It outlines the rights of a groom and bride, and the signing must have 2 male witnesses. As we all watched, Maisa and Mohi stamped heir fingerprints on 7 copies of the contract in order to be officially married. Then, Mohi took the and of the Maisa’s father and promised him that he would take care of his daughter. A prayer was said, and the ceremony was compete! Maisa and Mohi were married.
In terms of rings, in a Muslim marriage, the engagement ring is exchanged during the engagement and to be worn on the right ring finger of both parties. Then, during the wedding, the same ring will be transferred over to the left hand ring finger to be worn throughout their marriage. It’s quite a lovely symbol.
After the ceremony ended, everybody was shuffled inside to the tables, where the reception commenced. We ate, we drank (soda and tea), and we were merry. There was a really great live band with an apparently famous Egyptian singer named Hamaky that inspired a concert turned dance-party-on-stage, in which I did not participate of course (I rarely dance)!
Highlight of the wedding: Peter getting bitten by a little Egyptian boy when he tried to play with him and his nerf gun. The little boy latched on to his pants, and Peter tried to lightly shake him off, but he went in to take a good chunk out of his calf! Also, it’s even funnier to note that this is the second time Peter was bitten by an Egyptian child!
I think what surprised me was that the bride and groom never actually kissed. Not a single time at the wedding. There were no glass-clinking-kiss-now-toasts, there was no “you may now kiss the bride”, there was no first-dance-kiss, nothing!
Overall, the wedding was a wonderful cultural experience that I am glad I could be a part of. Congrats to Mohi and Maisa!!
With this blog, I want to take all of you on my crazy, destionation-less journey, so here goes the first post…
For all of you that know me, I don’t walk. I don’t stroll, I don’t amble, I don’t meander, I don’t wander. And when I do, it’s with a purpose. So when my boyfriend, Peter, mentioned that he was really keen on picking a random local neighborhood in Cairo that we would never find ourselves in other than by happenstance and just “walk”. I was less than thrilled by the idea to be honest.
But we walked.
We chose a very “shaaby” (local) neighborhood, Sayeda Zeinab, in Cairo, full of winding streets littered with garbage, full of roaming stray cats and dogs, and children playing with tires and makeshift soccer balls. We stumbled upon cages of live chickens unknowing of their fate, camel meat hanging outside butchers’ shops, and rows of ladders stacked against the walls for sale. We saw every kind of speciality shop, from carpenters, to car repairmen, egg sellers, and seamsters.
We drank tea at a cafe with tables of old men smoking shisha, playing backgammon, and reading the newspaper. We stumbled upon the oldest mosque in Cairo, Ibn Tulun, majestic in its simplicity, serene even in its central location. We heard “Welcome to Egypt” countless times from local passersby, to which we responded “shukran” (thank you in Arabic).
But most importantly, we saw the true Cairo; a side that we rarely have the opportunity to see. We saw Cairo in each child running in the street, each “welcome to Egypt”, each cup of tea, each throw of the dice, each toothless smile, and each call to prayer.
Despite my original hesitance, I realized that inherent in this aimless walk there was a purpose, and it was just that: to walk aimlessly. It ultimately allowed us to take in everything we saw without, a map, preset route, or destination. And by losing ourselves in Sayeda Zeinab, we found the innocent and beautiful essence of the city in which we live.
Throughout this walk, I realized more and more that this is what I want my 2017 to be: full of discovery, exploration, “yeses” (even if my first instinct might be no!), and full of this amazing man who pushes my boundaries, expands my comfort zone, but unfailingly holds my hand along the way.